I feel like I put on different personas around different people ie. Person A vs Person B, friend vs stranger, classmate vs teacher, text/whatsapp convos vs real life convos, social media vs real life situations. Maybe I'm not as grounded in my identity as other people are, maybe different situations call for different behaviours/attitudes. Also realised that I'm very self-conscious, scared of how people may judge me. Kinda like this constant process of self-discovery as I gradually grow older, even though some of my characteristics may scare me at times. Next week, I'll be exploring Vienna alone while my sister is attending UN meetings at the UN building far away. Scared about the dangers of being alone in a foreign land with a foreign language. But I think, this is part of my dream coming true. Vienna is not quite the Europe that I wanna explore, but I cannot be fussy. Next week, I will be exploring gorgeous cobblestoned streets (I hope) and getting lost among old architecture. Next week, I will be geeking out in museums and churches with no one to rush me impatiently. Next week, I will be chilling at cafes with a book in my hands. And as I do all these things alone, I hope to find myself and grow up even more. This is my hippie dream slowly coming true, but yet there's so much more wanderlusting and exploring in life which I will never achieve.

The other day, while walking around the Chinatown/Tanjong Pagar area (again) and also the Haji/Arab St area, I busted my knee somehow. And then it got better and today while walking around Robertson Quay and Fort Canning and Bugis, I busted it again. Don't know what's up with this but I seriously hope my knee gets better so that my European exploration dream doesn't get fazed. Thought to myself, I need to rest my knee between now and this weekend but no, I must explore the CBD on friday. I could explore the world forever.

In other news, the Doc Martens shoes I had in P1/P2 are still in good shape and can still fit me. Don't understand how, but I am amazed. In more news, I still believe that everything happens for a reason, with God the maker and planner of all things. Goodnight and stay gold.

12:21 AM;